This weekend was a good mix of ups and downs. Again.
Saturday morning stated well with the children and me running around the house getting washed, dressed and fed just in time to discover we didn’t have a key for the car and were effectively stranded in the village (if that makes my life sound a bit like an episode of ‘The Prisoner’ then that’s fine). We made up for this by making biscuits, jelly and even a trailer for a non-existent horror movie.
I went to the hospital yesterday to see my dad. He had been looking better and making some improvements but yesterday he looked worse and seemed quite despondent. He has to eat soft foods because of problems with his throat, but the joy of puréed meals has swiftly worn off. He needs to eat to build up his strength to help fight the cancer, although it is beginning to look like the cancer is getting the upper hand. It does seem like he might not have long to live, but my dad has surprised me before.
Death, as we keep saying, is a normal and understandable part of life. Suffering is fairly normal too, just a lot harder to deal with.
Today the weather has done its best to be bleak, with unending rain, dark clouds and wind. But I love the rain and have to remain optimistic.