Thrawwwwaaaang!

Some are born with DIY skills, some have DIY skills thrust upon them, and some can't put two pieces of an IKEA wardrobe together without letting go at the wrong moment and watching the internal screws shred the bottom panel into little pieces. Mind you, the previous occupant of this house was worse. He had some DIY skills but didn't know his limitations. This is why we have inherited a bathroom door that makes and impressive 'thrawwwwaaaang!' noise whenever it's opened. He also boarded up the stopcock, making fixing taps much harder than it should be. Added to this we have skirting boards that come loose when you sneeze in their direction, and a potential plumbing nightmare that gives me dreams of the house dropping into a boggy hole with a loud 'splosh.' Onomatopoeia, twice. That's value.